So C-USA

Tulane has been away from the Dome for almost two years- and yet it was almost as if they had never left. The Dome is gorgeous, brand new- but Tulane still looked as if the clock had stopped circa 2002.

It wasn’t so much the game. It is just, well, when you go to a C-USA game, you know exactly what I mean. Everything was so C-USA. Example: walking along Canal Street pre-game, I saw a cluster of two dozen SMU cheerleaders, in full uniform, clutching a map trying to navigate themselves on foot the necessary 1.5 miles to the Dome. What happened when they got there? Just waved in? Did they need a ticket? It is so C-USA that they were expected to walk there unescorted. Hopefully they did not have to walk home, post-11PM, along Poydras.

Again, the game was a pretty simple one to decode. Their quarterback made plays the whole game- not just for a half. Tulane spotted them a 17 point lead through a rich tapestry of stupidity, poor play, curious coaching choices and endless selfish frustration penalties- which was too much to overcome considering neither team is all that much better, or different, than one another.

How about the absolute, unrelenting awfulness of that first half? What in heck was that mess? At halftime, nursing a stiff drink, I heard someone say this is “a joke”.

And it was a joke. How could you argue? It was absolutely soul-deadening. Shut out by SMU?- a team, like Tulane, with zero discernable talent on defense (other than that #11 coming off the end again and again and again). A fake punt on your six? Seriously, even if you get it, then what? What is the risk/reward on that decision? I mean, come on coach. You still needed another four, maybe five first downs, before one of our kickers can come on in and shank one.

The endless penalties that let SMU off the hook again and again. Selfish ones too- upperclassmen unable to discipline themselves to not hit guys late. The two best passes were thrown by kickers? The head coach’s nephew was playing quarterback? If I were Scott Elliot I would transfer tomorrow. Honestly.

And I was thinking, at the half, who would pay to see this? Who would find it entertaining? What student would take four/five hours out of his day and make the personal investment to see Tulane look and play so scared versus SMU? I am a proud Tulanian, I can handle losing- but worse, I was bored. I honestly couldn't wait for it to be over and to go to K-Paul's.

Fortunately I suppose, the second half was more to form- the pitch, catch and score bunches our beloved League’s horrible defensive secondaries and scattered special teams presents, each team alternating pretty great quarterbacking play with a subsequent brutal turnover from the position. Tulane figured out how to protect Ricard- keep up the pace, refuse to allow SMU liberal situational substitutions required to send wave after wave of guys at Ricard. It was almost enough- but down 17 points everything had to go right- and a Ricard fumble and a kick-off return was enough to do Tulane in.