Friday, October 01, 2004

LSU-The Skull of Mike IV

Look, I know I make a lot of LSU alumni upset and angry. Again, I am sorry if I hurt your feelings. I would just say, conversely, that you are hanging out, getting visibly upset and writing me hate mail- on a Tulane friendly website! Candidly, why are you even here? Focus on your work or something. On ne peut avoir le beurre et l'argent du beurre.

Now, unlike yesterday, when I had time to play- I have to trade today and I am very, very busy. So listen up.

Yes, I bought the skull of Mike IV during an auction and used it as a fund-raising “prop” at the Manhattan Club for Tulane. And I probably ought have realized it is a bit sensitive to LSU alumni that it is in my possession. But as stated tediously below, it is my money. If you have serious objections to me possessing it- contact the party that auctioned this frankly intriguing, unordinary piece of memorabilia on eBay. Their website is here:

Secondly, bottom line, LSU is supporting fund-raising for a cage for its mascot while at the same time- Bottom line part 2: LSU is cutting funding for the two programs that encourage members of Louisiana National Guard/Reserve to enroll in college.

This is why you people did not “get” that “F” from the Sporting News- concerning the general classiness of your program. I assure you Tiger fans- your university earned/earns/will earn that “F” every single day. Think about that- an independent, unbiased source: “The Sporting News”- not Frank- says your programs are a disgrace to college athletics.

Just stop reading for a minute and think about that. We all joke around and all that- but that is a serious accusation- and bluntly- one well deserved.

As I have written before, you couldn’t run the LSU program at Syracuse or USC or UCLA or Bringham Young. People would not stand for it. I am not saying these places are paragons of academic excellence, but at least school there is not a fraud. Why can’t LSU run a program like Penn State? Is it so bankrupt internally that they don’t care about the future of the kids who wear purple on Saturday? You can’t argue that they do- when the big-time LSU men’s programs have years where not one graduates.

Think about that for a second. Think about what an astounding achievement that is- an entire class where not one person can make the standards to graduate a below average state school? No matter the depth of your love for LSU, you have to admit that is unacceptable.

That is why, as a Louisiana tax-payer, I can’t stand LSU. It has nothing to do with football. Tiger fans just reinforce the worst prejudices about the South, our home: that our athletes, our neighbor’s sons, are fodder, that our public schools are largely athletic factories with minimal standards, that minority and poor students have no use if they can’t carry a football or hit with verve and fervor.

I wish another state’s university was labeled by TSN, ipso de facto, as the worst in terms of conduct and dignity. I am tired of it.